The last meal

I feel as though I am preparing for weightloss surgery once again. I had gastric bypass in December 2010. I was in my junior year of college, 21 years old … and the reasons I had come up with to have it were mostly shallow and vain. I longed to have what I witnessed happening all around me … romance, travel, children. When really I just wanted to see how life in the skinny actually felt. I thought it would greatly improve my chances at life, relationships, a career. The first year was AWESOME! I was hot sh*& and I believed every minute of it. I filled a void with alcohol and men and was completely wreckless in my living.

Fast forward to fall 2014. At this point I had been married for a year and a half. I had been a mom for 6 months and while I loved love every minute of it … I so wanted my body back! I wanted my identity back aside from wife and mother. I decided to go back to work. That ended up not going as planned.

Now, December 30, 2016, I find myself in the same battle of identity. Trust me when I say there are more days than I would like to admit that I let my mind wander and imagine my life with me as my only responsibility. Those thoughts come to a screeching halt and I enter back into reality with my needy 2 year old in the back seat asking for another drink, fruit snack and the McDonald’s toy she dropped down the door..

Let me get back to this last meal feeling… lately, I have observed many fellow moms in similar situations of identity crisis! This crisis in my life is about to be extremely adverted! I am a planner. Well more like a “write things down, to do list, list maker.” So my lists have been made. I will be preparing tomorrow night and Sunday afternoon my vitamins and protein shakes for the coming week. I will be following the BOT plan from bariatriceating.com and using the 21 day fix exercise program.

Tomorrow, however, I will celebrate the end of 2016 with a BAMA tailgate party at my mom’s! I will definitely eat things I am not supposed to eat and drink things I am not supposed to drink. I will indulge. My body still uses my WLS tool and will tell me when I have overdone it, but it certainly isn’t like the first days and weeks after surgery. I am looking forward to my last meal but am also looking forward to getting my pre-wedding pre-mom bod back and being the healthiest I can be for me, my husband, and daughter.

Happy New Year’s Eve eve!

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2017: The Year of Jamie

It has been quite some time since my last visit. I feel like the Lord is nudging me to start blogging once more and to commit to putting my thoughts and activities to paper. I do not know where this will lead.

As you may know, I am a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, a student, and business owner. There have been many changes from my first posts back in November 2015 until now. We are no longer in the shadow of Cinderella’s castle, rather the shadow of the military installation of America’s finest men and women in uniform near Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. Mike and I will celebrate our 4 year anniversary come February. We have an ever-growing almost 3 year old who is the sassiest, smartest little girl I know. She is truly the light of our lives! This year I decided to return to school for my Master’s in Sports Management. And if I weren’t busy enough with family, friends, school, and church … I joined SeneGence International as an Independent Distributor for their line of cosmetic products (<– they are good, if you were wondering)!

While all this is great, I feel as though I have neglected myself. As mother’s do, I think they lose their identity in their children and housework that they forget who they really are. Now most of my busyness, I have taken on myself. However, I also add a lot of guilt when I try to escape to do homework, get groceries, or have my nails done. The pressure of #pinterestperfect is real!

 

As I reflect on 2016 and it comes to an end, I have decided to invest in me more in the New Year to be able to better serve my family, friends, and various responsibilities. I do not necessarily have resolutions, rather I have goals for the coming year. My goals range from health, finances, relationships, Jesus time, and so on. I am hoping for accountability through this blog. Unless it is written down and documented, it does not really happen, right?

 

I am so looking forward to what is about to happen? What about you!?!!

 

Jamie